I approach therapy from a strengths-based, person-centered perspective with the belief that each of my clients has the inner strength to move through their toughest challenges. It's just a matter of identifying those strengths, building on them, and helping you believe in yourself. I offer a nonjudgmental space where you can feel safe and comfortable sharing your story. As your counselor, I would be honored to partner with you to help you reach your goals through an individualized treatment plan and growth process. I look forward to seeing what the Lord does in your life through Christian counseling!
My Goal as a Christian Counselor
My goals are always to help you believe in yourself and move toward becoming the best version of yourself. This often looks like questioning automatic negative thoughts, focusing on your strengths, identifying obstacles impeding interpersonal growth, and learning how to change behavior to manage those obstacles. If you can grow stronger in your faith in the process, the prognosis is even better.
What I Offer in Christian Counseling
I will start by getting a baseline of where you are with your symptoms (anxiety, depression, trauma, etc.) and explore the negative messages and beliefs informing these emotions, as well as the root of these issues. I will work to help you see your own strengths and to start believing in yourself and your ability to wade through the difficulties you face with renewed strength, determination, and motivation. I will also help you with tangible tools to use in the moment to cope with your more extreme emotions, as well as to understand your emotions more clearly.
My Approach to Christian Counseling
In my practice, I love any opportunity to be able to use God as the foundation for healing and hope. The closer clients can move toward the Lord, the closer they can move toward peace. My faith has always informed my practice, even in public mental health. Sometimes that just meant praying for my clients, other times (if they initiated it) it meant talking about their faith in God and how it has lessened over time, comparing their mental health now to when it was at its strongest. From there, we would explore what happened to decrease their faith and what it would take to press in, if they so desired. I always strive to help clients understand the way God sees them and contrast that with the way they see themselves. Forgiveness (self and others) is key, and exploring that from a Christ-centered lens is always the most productive and tangible way to understand the concept.
Qualifications & Experience
I hold an AA and BA in Psychology and an MS in Counselor Education, Mental Health from Eastern Washington University. I am a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) and Child Mental Health Specialist (CMHS). I’ve been working as a counselor since 2015.
My Call to Christian Counseling
Several guiding factors that led me to pursue a career in counseling include educators along the way who invested in me, the way my mother was always seen as a safe haven for the hurting and brokenhearted, the way peers often came to me or called me to share their burdens and receive support, and the example of Jesus. He’s a healer, and that’s something I want to be a part of.
More About Me/On a Personal Note
I've been married to my amazing wife since 2007 and raising our three wonderful kids together has been one of the greatest joys in my life. I love spending time with my family. I enjoy playing games with friends and family (board games, card games, video games, lawn games), camping, swimming, really anything in nature, music, singing, movies, longboarding, cliff-jumping, golf, disc golf, reading, and occasional writing. I’m a fan of good science fiction and I nerd out over Star Wars and Marvel content.
Areas of Expertise/Specialties
- Abandonment and Neglect
- ADHD
- Aging and Geriatric Issues
- Anger Management
- Anxiety
- Coaching
- Counseling for Teens
- Couples Counseling
- Codependency
- Depression
- EMDR / Life Span Integration
- Grief and Loss
- Individual Counseling
- Infidelity and Affairs
- Marriage Counseling
- Men’s Issues
- Online Counseling
- Personal Development
- Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
- Premarital Counseling
- Relationship Issues
- Sexual Abuse
- Spiritual Development
- Trauma
Trauma
Sometimes when we go through scary and difficult experiences, we may develop unhealthy thoughts surrounding why that happened. Those often-distorted beliefs negatively impact self-esteem, trust, and even your perception of your ability to cope with your feelings. Working together, we can begin to help you regulate during trauma triggers, understand your trauma from a more healthy, logical perspective, and develop more accurate, healthy, and helpful thoughts about you, others, and the world around you. By facing your fear, you will learn to master it rather than letting it master you.
Anxiety
Anxiety and fear often live in the past or in the future, rarely in this moment. You are anxious about something that already happened or worried about something that might happen. Together, we can build the skill to connect yourself to your body and the present moment, rather than being trapped inside your anxious mind. We can explore some of the thinking traps and inaccurate beliefs you ascribe to, and learn to challenge these automatic negative thoughts. I can help you learn to use your body and mind to calm yourself and regain control.
Depression
Depression is a notorious liar. It has a voice of its own and often gets you to believe you can’t. No matter what the task is ahead of you, depression is that voice that says “I’m too tired (or fatigued, depressed), I can’t.” When you allow that voice to win, depression has taken over and you feel stuck and hopeless. The Catch-22 is that the main way to combat depression is by forcing yourself to get up and move, to act, to accomplish tasks and goals, including being more social, and active, attending to hygiene and chores, etc. I can help you learn tangible ways to beat your depression and stop it from blocking your way forward, starting with questioning your automatic negative thoughts and beliefs and changing the narrative.
Grief and loss
Grief is a complicated subject, and it looks different from person to person. There is no clear timeline, as it can come and go in waves. There are stages of grief, but they are not always linear. There are no right or wrong ways to grieve, but there are healthy and unhealthy ways to grieve, and we can explore those together. This will allow for growth and healing rather than staying stuck in suffering. I’ll help you learn how to adjust to your “new normal” and continue forward with your life.
Relationship issues
Conflict is a normal and even integral part of any relationship. It can be hard and messy, especially if respect is lost. However, healthy conflict resolution skills can be learned and implemented. It’s never too late to change gears regarding how you handle conflict if there’s a desire to preserve the relationship. I can teach you how to engage in conflict from a foundation of mutual respect and how to avoid the big blow-ups. The worst time to try and solve a relationship problem is while currently angry. We will discuss how to recognize your symptoms of anger and learn to step away and calm yourself, thinking through the situation and your options before engaging in conversation to address the issue(s). When conflict is dealt with in a healthy manner and both or all sides feel respected, heard, and loved, the relationship can come out on the other side even stronger than it was before.
Sessions: I offer 53-minute sessions. Sessions can be held more than once per week, weekly, or every other week. Scheduling options are discussed in greater detail during your Risk-Free Initial Session.
Availability (by office location):
- North Spokane– Monday, Tuesday, Thursday & Friday
- Spokane Valley – Wednesday
- Online (WA Only)– Monday & Friday
Fees: I offer a Risk-Free Initial Session for individuals and couples looking to pursue counseling with me. Please note that there is a fee for the Risk-Free Initial Session as it is a clinical hour and reimbursable to most insurance companies, but if you choose not to reschedule and continue therapy after the initial session the entire fee for the session will be waived. For ongoing treatment, the full fee per session is required at the time of service.
Insurance: As a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC), some insurance companies will reimburse for a portion of my services (as an Out of Network Provider). Please consult with your insurance provider as to whether they specifically cover adolescents, individuals, and couples.
Receipts/Statements: In the event, you require a printed or digital receipt, I will provide receipts for personal use, insurance reimbursement, Flex Spending Accounts (FSA), and Health Savings Accounts (HSA).
Payment options: Cash, Check, or Credit Card (Visa, MasterCard, Discover, & American Express). A fee of up to 4% per transaction will be added for credit card payments.
Focus Areas
Testimonials
Five stars for Nate!!!! You feel heard, safe, you feel growth! Nothing but good things for this guy...wish my insurance allowed more visits!
Nate is one of the most trustworthy people I have ever met. If you want someone who is as invested in you as yourself, Nate is your guy!
Nate is the best! Easy to talk to and down to earth. Brings light into every conversation.
We love Nate Ainley! He's a real genuine and caring man of God. I appreciate his joy and excitement for God, his family and community.
Nate is a compassionate therapist who really cares for those whom he is helping. He was able to help me unpack and face things from my past so I can live a courageous future. A true Godsend!
